Why (Heart) Decisions that Don’t Make Sense Will Bring You Closer to Happiness.
‘When something isn’t working any longer — change it and trust that voice that knows it’ll all work out for the better.’
I’d say that I generally embody this concept — yet, in the last four weeks, I have gotten to a whole new level with it. There were many leaps.
Going to Vietnam wasn’t an easy decision, but it was the right decision. You see, the right decisions aren’t necessarily the easiest ones. But the moment you realize what you want and what’s best for you, the weight of a decision gets lifted because you simply know it’s the right thing to do.
Let’s back up for a second, and let me give you some context.
My life has changed quite a bit in the last four weeks; those weeks have been messy. If I’m being honest, the whole beginning of 2025 was quite messy. In January, we took the van from Germany to Portugal, believing it would be our home for the next six months, maybe even longer. We wanted to reduce travel this year again, even more than last year.
We arrived in Portugal, and the apartment we had booked for three months didn’t turn out as we had thought. It was dark like we had to turn on all the lights all day because there wasn’t enough natural light coming in, which is something really important when you work from home (at least for us). At first, we thought it was the weather, but when we went out, we realized we missed out on the sun, which was actually shining all day long (which was one of the reasons why we went there).
We tried to find another place. After a few viewings, it became clear this wasn’t working. Everything felt hard. We put a lot of effort into just making it work. But every option felt like a compromise, and that didn’t feel good at all. I know there are people out there who strongly believe that it’s not possible to have it all. I strongly disagree. You always get what you tolerate.
In all that finding-a-new-apartment-chaos, we got a call that a very dear human was about to leave this planet. A few hours later, she was gone, just like that.
It stopped us in our tracks. Suddenly, nothing made sense anymore, and weirdly, everything made sense at the same time. The puzzle pieces came together.
I stood on the balcony; I was crying because a dear human just died. I was grieving for her, and in that very moment, I was grieving for myself, too – the future version of me that would eventually never exist if I didn’t make significant changes in my life.
'What do I want to tell people when I lay on my deathbed one day?’
The question, ‘What do I want to tell people when I lay on my deathbed one day?’ didn’t seem to go away, and the answer was clear. I want to say that I lived my life on my terms, did everything I wanted, went after my dreams no matter how big or unrealistic they might seem to others, didn’t hold back on anything, and lived my life according to my values and needs and not according to other people’s expectations. After all, I am the most important person in my life. (You are the most important person in your life. Read that again.)
I realized once again that I wasn’t living my dream life (I knew that feeling from years ago), and I knew things had to change. It hurt because I had no idea how or what to do next or anything, really. All I knew was I couldn’t keep going like this.
A few days later, we flew to Germany, thinking we would move into another apartment when returning to Portugal (even though that apartment also didn’t feel like a 100% yes). We had prepared everything for the move already. Yet, I sensed that we might not actually end up staying in Portugal.
The moment the plane took off to Germany, I silently thought to myself, I wish I could just fly somewhere else. At that moment, Steven looked at me, saying I think flying isn’t too bad after all with excitement in his eyes I hadn’t seen in a long time. My eyes were wide open.
You see, for the past two years, we stayed in Europe because all we wanted was a sense of calm, security, and stability to give our nervous system a chance to relax for once after all the traveling and endless moving from A to B since 2016. We had made the decision that we didn’t want to fly around due to too much organizing and all the hustle and stress that comes with it.
But at that moment, I wasn’t sure if this decision was still valid for me; I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to stay in Europe any longer. And as Steven said he might be open to flying again, I immediately felt a spark of hope. If flying were in the game again, the whole world would stay open, and oh man, that thought felt so expansive.
I had a strong feeling of wanting to go somewhere different. That feeling of changing things up. That feeling of wanting to break out felt so familiar because I had felt it for a while by now but didn’t act on it. I had felt it throughout the end of last year already, but I didn’t know how or where to go. And it didn’t make logical sense anyway, so I always pushed it away.
But now, even though there was complete chaos all around me, no matter what I tried, I couldn’t push it away any longer. Something deep inside me was screaming for change, and I couldn’t ignore it one more second, even though I had no idea how to make it all happen.
We arrived at the airport in Germany, and just the thought of needing to go back felt somehow wrong and restricting. Believe me, I reflected a lot. I wondered if I was overlooking something. I blamed myself if I wasn’t grateful enough or what the hell was wrong with me, that I didn’t feel comfortable in Portugal because there would probably be many people out there who would have loved to live that life.
I had been to Portugal before and loved it (I did a two-week solo camper trip along the coast), but this time, it felt different. It didn’t feel like the place where I wanted to live. It all came down to one feeling — it didn’t feel right, so I stopped blaming myself for feeling this way and trusted it instead.
I had that sense that if we stayed in Portugal, everything would feel so familiar, too familiar. That type of familiarity where you know that if you don’t make a different choice, nothing will change, and in the end, it’s only repeating another pattern. It felt like running in circles again.
I craved something new. I craved adventure, which was super unusual for me. I hadn’t craved adventure in those last two years at all. I wanted quite the opposite. But now I did. I craved change. I craved feeling alive again.
I had the same feeling (or wake-up call if you will) when my grandpa died back in 2018, and I knew following this feeling would be the right thing.
It was scary, and yet, it felt so damn good to do exactly what my heart was craving.
A week later, we decided to go to Vietnam (Steven always wanted to go, but we kept pushing it as it was never the ‘right time’ and it felt too hard and complicated). We hadn’t been to Southeast Asia since backpacking through Thailand, Cambodia, and Indonesia for about two months back in 2018. Plus, we have never lived and worked there. There were so many questions, so many what-ifs, and so many unknowns.
Yet, we leaped anyway — again.
I also decided to join the mastermind I wanted to be part of for so long. (I could have told myself now is not the right time, but I did say that to all the opportunities in the past. I knew I would regret it if I didn’t join this time, so I did!)
We flew back to Portugal, and within a week, we booked flights to Vietnam, canceled the apartment we thought we’d move into, moved out of the original apartment, packed everything in our van, parked it in a garage with an open end date, and flew to Hong Kong.
We spent a week in Hong Kong and dove into a completely different culture. Surprising to my old self, I enjoyed it a lot. I was fascinated by everything and felt like a little child. Even though it’s a city and there are a lot of people, it didn’t bother me. Everything felt very organized, people were friendly, and we just had a lot of fun. (I even found a cute little café called ‘Wanaka’. Everyone who knows me knows how happy that made me :)
A week ago, we arrived in Vietnam with absolute overflowing happiness at the airport in the evening. A few hours later, I questioned everything and wondered if it was a stupid idea and if we should go back.
The next day, we got a scooter and explored Hoi An, went to the beach, ate delicious fresh food, and found the most amazing co-working space (I still can’t believe that I’m writing this because I could have never imagined enjoying to work there, but that’s going to be a different story for a different time). It didn’t feel like such a stupid decision anymore ;)
The next day, we had a fantastic day at the co-working space. We had lunch with a German woman who just got her citizenship in Australia. I got extremely excited, congratulated her, and told her that it’s my absolute dream (and plan!) to get residency in New Zealand one day. She directly asked us a few questions and suggested a few options we may consider checking out to support that vision. I couldn’t stop smiling. It’s that kind of experience or connection where you know you’re in the right place at the right time, and things are just happening. (I’m already excited about what’ll come out of this.)
Since then, it’s been a really nice first week in Hoi An, building routines and getting to know this charming place.
I’m beyond grateful for the journey and the challenges because they always push me to a more aligned ‘me’. Plus, sharing these experiences with my partner by my side makes it all so much richer.
What can you learn from this?
Change will feel uncomfortable to your system, especially when you do something further out of your comfort zone.
Did I have moments when I questioned everything? 100%, especially in the days when we packed up all our stuff in Portugal.
Did everything go according to plan? Not at all. I got food poisoning in Hong Kong, and we had problems with our apartment in Vietnam.
Was it stressful at times? Absolutely.
Did I think about flying back and quitting? Of course! But I knew these moments wouldn’t last long because I knew why and what I was doing this for.
It’s funny how our brain is hardwired for safety, but safety just means familiar. Your mind (that logical thinking brain) will always try to talk you into your familiar past. It wants to stay there because it’s predictable. Once you know this and can spot it, it becomes easier.
It doesn’t need to make sense to other people or your mind — It needs to make sense to your ♡.
Going to Vietnam after just having moved to Portugal didn’t make any logical sense. We thought we would waste too much time; it would be too much work, too much stress, too much whatever. Yet, it felt right.
I challenge you to dare to follow your heart and switch off that voice that’s giving you a million reasons why things may not work. What if all the certainty you need to make that decision is that feeling of ‘this feels right to me‘?
If you feel this nudge, follow it. It’s there for a reason. Embrace it, try it out, and see what happens. You’ll never know if you don’t try.
Try it with small things, such as when you order something at a café, decide what to wear for work, or if you want to meet that person, and then build from there with more significant decisions. You got this!
Ask yourself, ‘What is really the worst thing that can happen?’ Hint: Going back to your usual life, as you know it now, is always an option. I find that, with that certainty in mind, the decision becomes relatively straightforward.
The right time never comes. Make that decision, live your life how you want, and do what makes you happy.
Simply ask yourself, ‘Will I regret this if I don’t do this now?’ I find so much power in that question because you’ll immediately know when to say yes and when to say no. Life is messy and you get to choose how you respond to it. Choose yourself – always.
If you have something that you have been craving for a long time — go for it! Book that flight. Call that person. Say no to that thing that’s stressing you out. Say yes to that opportunity. Do whatever you need to do to fulfill your needs. It doesn’t matter if anyone understands your reasons. Don’t be afraid of being judged. Just do you.
You don’t owe anyone a justification or explanation. The only person you owe something to is you, and that is that you make yourself happy.
I hope this story inspires you to follow your heart. You never know who you might run into or what opportunity may arise once you follow your ♡.
Remember, you always get what you tolerate in life, so dare to dream BIG. 🦋
Greetings from Vietnam,
Christin x
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